I have had times when I feel so bad about not feeling like doing something. People around me are doing something and I do it but I don`t feel like it. So I try again. and again casue I hope I will start liking it. But still it does not get better. Then a realize, it´s just not for me! and its ok!!
It might seem like I have no power over myself or what I want. And for a lot of years growing up it was actually true. I was really scared of standing out from the crowd and many times I did things just because “everyone else” were doing it. I still remember when the teacher asked me our class in 2nd grade what we wanted to be when we grew up. All the girls said “hairdresser” guess what I said.. yep, hairdresser of course. But I remember the feeling of “ok, just say what everybody else says. It took be to grow up and get out in the “real” world to see and experience who I was and what I like. And wow what a feeling that was and still is.
I have to be honest that sometimes it comes back, that voice saying that I should follow the crowd and not head in another direction. But I can now hear it without having to automatically follow it. Instead I give that thought a hug and then let it go to one direction and I walk to my own direction that feels best. And this is not something weird or unusal. A lot of us feel like this and sometimes it is hard to know “who I am” and “what do I like” but what is so important is to be ok with that and accept yourself for that. Life is a process.
Recognize yourself? then try this and see if it can help to see what it is that you do right now that might not be something you love:
Write a list of everything you do, things you do for work, people you hang out with and things you do otherwise. Anything and everything! Brainstorm here, there is not something you can do wrong. And I strongly recommend to write down more and then take away stuff then starting with restricting yourself.
Then look at your list. Look at it and start to listen to what you feel about the different things.
Make a priority list with the things you feel great with on top. And the things you feel less good about range it further down.
Then the things you feel “uck” and “hey, I do this all the time but I don´t like it, oh man” Look at it and as yourself it that is something you can stop doing?
Now, if it is big life decisions like changing careers and relationships it´s not as easy as just turning a switch. But if you are seeing something big in your life that you don´t like. Is that not awesome that you see it clearer now. When we see things clearer we can do something about it. If you see something you are not ready to change yet, that is okay. everything has a process and that is all up to you. Awareness, it´s not always easy, but it often is necessary.
If you see other things like, “I actually put low fat milk in my coffee even though I don´t like it”. Then maybe that is something you can stop doing? Starting small is a powerful thing. Cause if we start changing small things big things starts to happen.
Try it and comment below what you think, and if you feel like sharing, I would love to hear what comes up and what you are planning to change.