Does it sound harsh? It’s meant to. I have always responded great to people and teachers who are rough around the edges when it comes to teaching me things. It makes me focus and doing better. Then there are other areas in life where I cannot take harshness and I become very sensitive, but that is for another post. I am saying this with love!
Usually when I am in the mist of feeling sorry for myself and stuck the final stage before coming out of it is feeling angry and sick of myself. Then I fix what’s needs fixing and move on.
The “my fault part” is all about taking the power of my life back. Experience and knowing that 100% of my life is in my hands. So powerful!
I am free! When I realize that I am the boss of my life – that sets me free!
Victim role? Yuck. I have been there many times. Still I fall back sometimes. (Which is ok! just don´t stay there my love)
There was many years I did not take responsibility for my life. Yes I did my homework in school, I finished stuff I was supposed to, I did the work and paid my bills in time. But in other aspects I was a victim. Well, I saw myself as one. The big thing was that I was in someway blaming things that had happened in the past for what I was feeling now. But when I decided that my not so perfect childhood or other less fun things was not something I could blame on anymore. Freedom! That meant I could start fresh everyday, the past does not have to ruin today.
What do I mean by a victim? Blaming others for my feelings. Waiting for other people to change to make things or me feel better. Also trying to change others, or holding on to the past, or worry about the future, which is total fiction by the way.
Then I started to study life coaching and relationship coaching and I started to follow Rory Raye, Carol, Allen, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins, Christian Carter it was like someone punched me in the stomach. What, wait? its me? my fault? what?
Honestly I still fall back into the victim role and not taking responsibility. But I now know how to get trough it easier and faster then before.
Yup, it might sounds obvious but it sure was not for me. Without really noticing me I had been going around blaming and feeling so down waiting for my circumstances to change without seeing and taking responsibility for my own doing.
After the “smack” came the ease and hopefulness. I realized that I have all the power and that made me feel so much stronger then I had felt before.
I stopped trying to change others. I started taking care of myself and being with an open heart. And when I stopped blaming others things changed dramatically.
Things that can help:
- Realized that everything in my life is my responsibility
- Took responsibility for everything in my life. This is not a mistake. I am writing this twice so that you really get how important this part is.
- Finding what makes my heart sing and taking care of myself
- Stopped blaming others and walk around with an open heart
- Study, read books and learn about things that you know makes you grow.
- Read blogs, sign up for newsletters and google questions and concerns.
- When I fall back, I am completely aware of it. I acknowledge it without going there. I accept that I am falling back without letting it get any power.
- When I fall hard, it takes a little longer. But usually it means I stopped taking care of myself well enough or not studied enough.
- Not enough sleep, when I don’t get enough sleep and I usually needs 8 hours many things fall apart for me and I feel like shi#!
- Food, food, food, listen to what your body is calling you for and drink lots of water
- Forgive yourself and me gentle to yourself. We all fall back from time to time and that is not a reason to bring us down further.
- Talk to people that is inline with what and who you want to become. What do I mean? Surround you with people who support your journey and also wants to grow. I am a true believer that we become what we surround us with. A person that drains us is very unfortunate and it is so unnecessary to live life with something or someone who drains us emotional energy wise. I know this is a tough question, and its not always solvable over night. But it might be a good thing to open your eyes for and see what kind of energy you surround yourselves with.
If you are not in a position or just not sure I you want to pay money for programs and online courses that deals with these issues you can find so much free advice for free online. Just google and look at sites and/or sign up for free newsletters. There are so much great support you can get by doing that. This is what I did and I learned so much from them. If you can afford it I truly believe their programs are awesome. But truthfully I have not afford to buy them yet. Accept for Marie Forleos – B-school which was life changing!
Your turn, what did you do to take the power back from your own life and what changes did that make for you?