Why we sometimes choose significance above love

This week I am staying on the same track as last week. Last week I talked about being in a downward spiral where the self care is lost in our lives.

The focus this week is about when we feel afraid of getting out of it. When we feel almost safe to be down the spiral and getting up from it feels uncomfortable. Can you recognize yourself?

Why is it that we sometimes rather stay down there? What do we get out of it?

The life coach Tony Robbins talks about the 6 human needs.


6 Human Needs











He says that if we don´t get all of the 6 needs met, there will be a struggle to become truly happy.

Tony talks a lot about how we as human can feel destructive emotions and stay there cause we do get something out if it. We get the one of more of the needs met in someway, without it having to be in a positive way.

As an example; feeling sorry for ourselves can gives us the feeling of love for ourselves. We feel pity for ourselves and from that we give ourselves love.

Tony Robbins about Love vs. Significance

Some of us raise significance above love cause we think we need to feel significance before we are worthy to receive love.

In the short term it gives us the sense of relief.

The side effects of that are that destructive thoughts emerge and the despair with that is sustained cause it makes us feel cared for from others.

He gives 3 questions for us to ask ourselves to find out how we get our needs met:


What were my needs initially?

What needs matter most to me?

What actions could I take?


Try it for yourself. When you find yourself in a destructive and a positive pattern. Ask yourself these questions to find the source of why and how you are getting your needs met by feeling the way you feel. Then ask yourself what you can do to change it to a empowering positive way.

I find the human mind so interesting and so complicated, at the same time I do think we make it more complicated for ourselves than it have to be sometimes (speaking for myself) Knowledge of the human mind can actually relieve some of it cause we get to know the reasons why we feel the way we feel. And from knowledge we get tools to help us grow from the inside.

I would really recommend you to Google Tony Robbins; he is an amazing man who has changed the lives on thousands of people with his work.

Is there any destructive patterns you have worked out with yourself? How did you do it? Please share, I would so love to hear your thoughts about this. It´s such important for us to find the happiness in ourselves. Cause I know as well as you know. that you are worth the best life and happiness that you can possible get. You are worth anything and everything.




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