Here it is, it is your fault - with love

Does it sound harsh? It’s meant to. I have always responded great to people and teachers who are rough around the edges when it comes to teaching me things. It makes me focus and doing better. Then there are other areas in life where I cannot take harshness and I become very sensitive, but that is for another post. I am saying this with love!

Usually when I am in the mist of feeling sorry for myself and stuck the final stage before coming out of it is feeling angry and sick of myself. Then I fix what’s needs fixing and move on.

The “my fault part” is all about taking the power of my life back. Experience and knowing that 100% of my life is in my hands. So powerful!

I am free! When I realize that I am the boss of my life – that sets me free!

Victim role? Yuck. I have been there many times. Still I fall back sometimes. (Which is ok! just don´t stay there my love)

There was many years I did not take responsibility for my life. Yes I did my homework in school, I finished stuff I was supposed to, I did the work and paid my bills in time. But in other aspects I was a victim. Well, I saw myself as one. The big thing was that I was in someway blaming things that had happened in the past for what I was feeling now. But when I decided that my not so perfect childhood or other less fun things was not something I could blame on anymore. Freedom! That meant I could start fresh everyday, the past does not have to ruin today.

What do I mean by a victim? Blaming others for my feelings. Waiting for other people to change to make things or me feel better.  Also trying to change others, or holding on to the past, or worry about the future, which is total fiction by the way.

Then I started to study life coaching and relationship coaching and I started to follow Rory Raye, Carol, Allen, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins, Christian Carter it was like someone punched me in the stomach. What, wait? its me? my fault? what?

Honestly I still fall back into the victim role and not taking responsibility. But I now know how to get trough it easier and faster then before.

Yup, it might sounds obvious but it sure was not for me. Without really noticing me I had been going around blaming and feeling so down waiting for my circumstances to change without seeing and taking responsibility for my own doing.

After the “smack” came the ease and hopefulness. I realized that I have all the power and that made me feel so much stronger then I had felt before.

I stopped trying to change others. I started taking care of myself and being with an open heart. And when I stopped blaming others things changed dramatically.

Things that can help:

-       Realized that everything in my life is my responsibility

-       Took responsibility for everything in my life. This is not a mistake. I am writing this twice     so that you really get how important this part is.

-       Finding what makes my heart sing and taking care of myself

-       Stopped blaming others and walk around with an open heart

-       Study, read books and learn about things that you know makes you grow.

-        Read blogs, sign up for newsletters and google questions and concerns.

-       When I fall back, I am completely aware of it. I acknowledge it without going there.  I accept that I am falling back without letting it get any power.

-       When I fall hard, it takes a little longer. But usually it means I stopped taking care of myself well enough or not studied enough.

-       Not enough sleep, when I don’t get enough sleep and I usually needs 8 hours many things fall apart for me and I feel like shi#!

-       Food, food, food, listen to what your body is calling you for and drink lots of water

-      Forgive yourself and me gentle to yourself. We all fall back from time to time and that is   not a reason to bring us down further.

-      Talk to people that is inline with what and who you want to become. What do I mean?      Surround you with people who support your journey and also wants to grow. I am a true believer that we become what we surround us with. A person that drains us is very unfortunate and it is so unnecessary to live life with something or someone who drains us emotional energy wise. I know this is a tough question, and its not always solvable over night. But it might be a good thing to open your eyes for and see what kind of energy you surround yourselves with.

If you are not in a position or just not sure I you want to pay money for programs and online courses that deals with these issues you can find so much free advice for free online. Just google and look at sites and/or sign up for free newsletters. There are so much great support you can get by doing that. This is what I did and I learned so much from them. If you can afford it I truly believe their programs are awesome. But truthfully I have not afford to buy them yet. Accept for Marie Forleos – B-school which was life changing!

Your turn, what did you do to take the power back from your own life and what changes did that make for you?

I suck

Heard that voice before? That voice in your head saying “you suck”? Maybe its something else it says but the thing is that its not fun or productive things. It’s bad, so that is why we need to get it out of there fast so it does not linger.

Cause you know that you are an amazing perfect person who can do whatever you want to do in life. But somehow that voice comes sometimes.

So what can we do?

Acknowledge it and say to it – I hear you, without taking it serious. Just see it as it has the right for its opinion but that does NOT make it true, at all! Then do whatever you were thinking about doing that probably brought the voice there in the first place.

Usually for me it is when I need to do something important that will make me grow personally or financially. Then it comes. When I do it anyways. It goes away.

Doing gives the voice no room to stay. Cause you are doing the things that made you stuck in the first place.

Believe me, I know how scary it can be. Especially for someone who always been so safe in my own head and had such a hard time doing. There are still things in my life I need and want to pursue but I have not gotten the courage yet. But it’s coming, and faster than before cause of my awareness.

That brings us to the being patient part.

I want to say this cause it’s very important;

All I am writing about this because now I am ready for it.

Some things I say now, I would not been able to do two years ago cause I was not ready in my life. We all are in different paths and parts of our lives. We all have stuff and things going on. So, you know best of what you are ready for or not. It’s all up to you and whatever you are right now, is just awesome!

In other aspects, some things I might have got aha moments from and made me push forward faster then I otherwise would two years ago.

See the difference?

The most important part is to be compassionate to and listen to yourself.

Just planting a seed inside may help you get were you want to be faster in the long run,

My friend Eija who is a fantastic human being (and also in the pictures on my website, so beautiful!!) she always tells me “you are exactly in the place you are suppose to be in this moment”

so beautiful and so true, that saying has helped me trough many hard times.

A big influence in my life is Marie Forleo, she is a business mogul who has made a amazing brand for herself and whatever business or life you are in. I believe there is something in what she talks about that can help. I just love her! Check her a video where she talks about this subject in a similar way here; You can also sign up for her newsletter and get amazing tips through her website www.marieforleo.com

Your turn, what have you done to get that nasty voice go away? What changing did that make for you in any part of your life?